Haii, it’s Jess. So the beginning of this year i met this girl, her name is Sydney. I’ve known her since my first year of high school and i thought she was the most beautiful thing i have ever laid eyes on. Sophomore year came and we never talked, we use to eyeball each other in the school hallways everyday while passing to the next class. This year, my junior year was the year everything changed. She requested me on Facebook and hit me up, i told her i was always shy to say hi in school, but she told me to anyways. The next day we smiled at each other and i sat with her in the library. I knew sooner or later there was gonna be a connection then bam, we clicked. I started to really like her and she started to really like me. I dated this girl for a while but always had something for Sydney. Me and that girl broke up and me and Syd began to talk. We talked for a while and then became a thing. We held hands in the hallways and i kissed her before i let go so she can go to class. November 13th 2012 came along, and that was the day i asked her out. Me and her dated for 2 months then broke up. I really loved this girl, so much to the point where i don’t think i could ever live without her. She was an amazing person, amazing smile, personality and everything. I was always the one to fuck up though. I hurt her bad, i use to tell my friends it was always her to pick the fights and to fuck up but to be honest it was always me. I made her look like the bad person every fight we had when i really was. One day, we fought so bad that i actually put my hands on her, i felt like a complete asshole and cried for hours. Unfortunately i told my friends she hit me so she would look bad, but i regret ever doing that. To be completely honest, Sydney isn’t a bad person at all, she is probably the nicest person you’ll ever meet. She is really easy to get along with and i love that. Yeah, she bullied people when she was in middle school, but i know the story behind that, it was because she moved from Italy and she wanted to fit in with everyone at that shitty school. I just hate hiding my feelings for this girl, i cry everyday because i am so use to her being in my arms, sleeping in the same bed as me, going out on Friday nights with her, going out to eat with her, watching movies with her, sending her cute good morning text and getting them back, just spending time with her was probably the best thing in the world and i regret everything i ever did wrong for those whole 2 months. I love her with all my heart and i don’t think i’m ever gonna let her go because i know i can’t. She will always be my one and only. My parents don’t hate her, neither does my best friend Alyssa, but my other best friend Alana does. And i hate the fact that she does, i feel like i’m never the same person. I’ve been really depressed these last two weeks and i refuse to tell her why. But heres the reason, all i can think about is Sydney. Everything about her is just so beautiful. I know sooner or later everyone is gonna know, and everyone is gonna have to deal with it and get the fuck over the fact that there is a girl out there, who i am in love with. If one of my friends was in this situation i would do anything and except anything just as long as their happy with everything. Say you were in love with this person, right? and your best friend hated them and would NEVER let you talk about them, follow them on any websites or anything. You wouldn’t like that, would you? I know i don’t. The thing is, is that my best friend said that if i ever became friends with her again, she would never talk to me ever again. But you know, i thought about that…if you were a real best friend, you would never leave your best friends side no matter what happens. See, i have this best friend Alyssa, who i’ve been friends with since i was only 6 years old, we are like sisters now and through all those years me and her have done the stupidest shit, like got back with people, became friends with people we hated but yet, still stuck by each other and i know that me and her will be best friends till death. Sydney messed up a couple times and did mean stuff to Alana’s mom, like got in her face in a tanning salon, and called her names. We all make mistakes though, right? I’ve been single ever since me and her broke up and i just can’t move on from her. Sydney isn’t doing good right now, and i’m the only one she needs by her and it sucks because i can’t be there with her when she needs me the most. I’m sick of being put down, i’m sick of being depressed, i’m sick of crying, i’m sick of all this bullshit thats going on right now and i’m just done with everything. No one will tell me who i can and can’t love. She will always be my baby no matter what and no matter how many fights we get into everyday or every other day, i’m done hiding her.
3 months ago with 1 note